Tips for When You're Feeling Alone and Unloved

9 Tips for When You're Feeling Alone and Unloved

There are times of the year when being on our own, perhaps without our children, is tough. Christmas, long weekends, holidays and key social events can be hard if we're alone, everyone else seemingly enjoying special moments.

Here are 9 tips to help;

- Remind yourself that it's often just for one day. If you're alone plan ways to occupy yourself. How wonderful to know you can cook your favorite food, read your book or watch a film undisturbed, soak and enjoy a guilt-free leisurely bath. Then, when you're next with your loved ones you can organised extra-special times together.

- Revise your perspective. Use some time productively, catching up on jobs and chores, but also enjoy 'me time', doing the things you often struggle to fit in, like catching up with friends or shopping at your own pace. Relish time for yourself.

- Avoid guilt-tripping your children. They know what's going on. Yes, they may allow one parent to bribe them with holidays and expensive gifts - why wouldn't they! But they'll also appreciate the other parent's daily struggles, the things you suspect go largely unnoticed. Allow them to freely choose as to where they want to be.

- Maintain an involvement in all areas of life. Remember, you have your own identity too. Keep yourself interesting by being interested in the news, popular TV, what's happening locally. Then you can comfortably join conversations and build new social connections. Being alone isn't the same as being isolated or disconnected from daily life.

- Mixing and talking to new people is a great way to improve your confidence, inspire you to update your appearance and become more than 'just' an ex or a parent! Plus conversing is an important skill, quickly lost if we're out of practice and haven't socialized independently in a while. Practice your conversational skills regularly; at the supermarket, whilst waiting in a queue or travelling on the bus can all be good places to safely share a few moments relaxed conversation.

- Manage your expectations. When you dip a tentative toe into the dating scene don't initially invest everything into that new relationship. Enjoy meeting someone new, getting to know them and maybe flirting a little. If things don't work out that's fine. Be gentle with yourself.

- Make invitations. Join mailing lists, source free and special offers. Become the go-to guy for fun and also accept when others invite you along. Keep in touch with what's happening locally. Then you can join in, even if some events aren't quite to your taste.

- Provide reasonable options for those on a budget; a pamper evening, supper party where everyone contributes, or a games evening. Sport can be a great way to exercise and socialist at the same time.

- Make time for your own interests.Volunteer, join a class, a walking group. Maybe alternate child care with other parents and free-up some time for yourself.

Alone doesn't have to mean lonely. Remember, people in unhappy relationships will envy you your freedom and single life.

How I DON'T WANT TO BE SINGLE ANY MORE

I Don't Want to Be Single Any More

There are certain times of the year when being single can be especially difficult. Long bank holiday weekends, Valentine's Day, family holidays and major social events can often seem like cosy couple or family events, and being single can feel particularly lonely and unloved during those times.

The days and weeks following Christmas and the holidays are two of the busiest times of the year for divorce attorneys to compound or reduce the loneliness and feeling that we are missing out on something special. Sometimes we can sigh and realize that we really don't want to be alone anymore.

- Many people who do not want to be single choose to join online dating sites and this can be an effective way of finding someone with similar tastes and interests who meets our criteria. These sites often offer good practical advice when creating your introduction. For example, be careful how much personal information you disclose and limit the first meeting to an hour so that no one feels trapped indefinitely. If you turn it off, your next date can last as long as you want.

- stay safe. If something feels wrong, trust your gut and arrange a first meeting in a public place. A lot of people use these sites with success, but it's still a good idea to tell your friend where you're going and to call back an hour later to make sure you're okay.

- If a friend, colleague or someone in your circle offers to introduce you to someone they know, accept it. That person might be perfect for you so why not agree to meet them. Even if nothing comes of it, you met someone new and did something different. Being able to socialize and talk to new people is an important skill that can be lost quickly if we're out of practice and don't date for a while.

- Manage your expectations. It can be exciting when fireworks go off when we first meet someone, but don't invest all of your hopes and dreams into a new relationship right from the start. Coffee, lunch, or a pleasant hour or two out for a walk can be a great way to initially meet someone and make you a special new friend, even if they aren't lovers.

- invite. Stay up to date on what's happening locally and join the mailing list. You can then organize tours of shows, exhibitions and events. Join in when others do too and invite you to join them. Socialize regularly so you can add to your network of contacts while having a good social life and staying in touch with what's happening around you.

- Do what you love. Volunteering, joining a class, hanging out with a group or leading an activity you enjoy keeps you busy as well as enables you to meet and meet people who share your interests. Enjoy meeting, sharing activities, becoming friends and slowly you can develop a loving relationship with someone you already have a fun relationship with.

Don't work too hard. Relax and be yourself. And remember that being single isn't the end of the world! Many people in unhappy relationships undoubtedly envy your independence and ability to do whatever you want whenever you want.

Appreciate every phase of life and enjoy the opportunities that come your way. Single or partnership, each position has its pros and cons. Being comfortable with yourself and your life takes the pressure off of finding a new partner and often leads to a new relationship when you least expect it.

CONCLUSION

Join in when others do too and invite you to join them. Socialize regularly so you can add to your network of contacts while having a good social life and staying in touch with what's happening around you. - Do what you love. And remember that being single isn't the end of the world! Many people in unhappy relationships undoubtedly envy your independence and ability to do whatever you want whenever you want. Appreciate every phase of life and enjoy the opportunities that come your way.