Sunday, July 11, 2021

Does TEN TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE Sometimes Make You Feel Stupid?

 TEN TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE: An Incredibly Easy Method That Works For All

Marital life is one of the most important and challenging areas of life. This life can be very colorful just by following a few small tips.

1. Be realistic

What are your thoughts on your married life? Is it like a fairy tale and then they started living happily and peacefully, or a fantasy like love-love-love all the time like in Bengali cinema?

Do you dream of an all-round life partner / life partner like the hero-heroine of drama-novel-movie?

Or do you expect your spouse to behave as he or she did before marriage, even after marriage?

This unrealistic, unrealistic expectation is a major cause of marital unrest. Because in real life, when unrealistic expectations are not realized, it causes disappointment and heartache. Again, it is now scientifically proven that the initial insanity of love is transient. 

No matter who you marry, you will never be 100% perfect. Just don’t worry about you all the time. To be happy you have to be so realistic. Successful couples find romance in everyday life, transforming the initial frenzy of love into a lasting love affair.

2. Who to marry

You will be wrong if you decide to get married just by looking at the external glamor. For example, a young woman in the West may decide how handsome, tall, or masculine a man is, or then again how much abundance he has. Again, any guardian of our East may be influenced by the degree of the pot, the money or the pot is abroad. 

Apparently looking at a lot of things, one can be influenced from numerous points of view.  But the reality is that marriage does not depend on it. Perhaps seeing all this, the bride or groom was chosen, in fact he is a selfish person or the social and cultural gap between the bride and groom is so large that it is impossible to adapt.

Again we think love marriage is perhaps happier. But there is no such thing as a happy marriage if there is love before marriage. Because love is actually a garment name for the physical attraction of men and women.

What is needed for a happy marriage is whether your spouse is a good person, honest, faithful and generous. The ideal marital relationship is created when both husband and wife share the same values ​​and attitudes.

So before marriage, find out all you can about the man you want to marry. Communicate with those who can provide neutral and objective information about the couple. And if there is any doubt about the neutrality of the information, then decide for yourself by combining the information obtained from multiple sources. 

Always remember that what is rotten is something. So if you get any negative information without checking it, you can make a big mistake in one of the most important decisions of life. And of course don't hide anything about yourself that will be misunderstood if you find out later.

3. You just can't be happy together

Your marriage can never be happy without parental blessing. No matter how much you cut off the external relationship with your parents' family, the impact stays on you. Those who go against the family and get married leave a void in their married life that is never filled. This does not mean that you will not have a role in choosing a spouse or that any decision will be imposed on you. Just as your choice of marriage should take precedence, so should the unanimous approval and support of both families.

4. Keep the wedding ceremony unpretentious

Nowadays, formality and extravagance in marriage is a casual affair. And that's because from childhood we grow up imagining a fairy tale. But no matter how glamorous the wedding ceremony, its permanence is only one day. In some Eastern cultures it is roughly a week. However, in this brief game plan,  the two families may have to be trapped in a debt trap as they have to compete in the cost show. The result is financial and emotional turmoil. For a peaceful marriage, therefore, keep the formality of marriage as unpretentious as possible.

5. Your accomplice won't get you, try to understand him first

One of the causes of marital problems is that we cannot accept that we are responsible for it. We always think — I'm right, my spouse is wrong. Or I think he is doing me wrong or I think he doesn't understand me. But we do not understand that I can take the initiative to understand another.

One of the ways to eliminate misunderstandings in marriage is to find out your own mistakes and try to look at the other person's position. We can never expect my spouse to do what I do not do. When we assume that all the mistakes are someone else's, we also place the responsibility on him to clear up the misunderstanding. If we only thought that lack of understanding leads to misunderstanding, then, at that point we would step up to the plate.  So that no issues should remain

6. Be pro-active in dealing with your spouse's weaknesses and limitations

Like every human being, your spouse must have some faults or limitations. There will be some aspects of his character that you may not like. How you handle these aspects will determine how happy your marriage will be. Keep in mind the following tips:

Accept your spouse fully - including his or her weaknesses and limitations. Remember empathy / love does not judge another, yet attempts to get him. 

Separate the individual from his conduct. It will be easier to accept his current limitations if he focuses on his future possibilities than on today's behavior.

 Cultivate good ideas for each other. Look for the good qualities in your spouse and appreciate them. This will encourage him to overcome his limitations.

 Forget the past. Do not remember the past mistakes of the spouse. Live with the present.

 Never come close your mate with others. Rather compare his current position with the past to see how far he has progressed.

7. Be proficient in managing financial matters

One of the causes of marital problems. The problem is exacerbated when the husband is the main breadwinner of the family and the wife is financially dependent on the husband. In these cases, the problem arises when there is no balance between the husband's income and the wife's expectations. Keep in mind the following points to avoid financial trouble.

Give the husband / wife a real idea about their earnings from the very beginning. This reduces the chances of unrealistic expectations.

 Purchase little presents for one another.

 If the spouse wants to help his family financially or gives a gift, do not interrupt unreasonably.

Try not to burn through your time by shopping. Waste will bring misfortune into your life.

 If you are able to earn money alone in the family (as a husband), say yes as much as possible in response to your spouse's financial needs. Give your wife money as handouts and don't ask her how she spends that money.

 If your husband is earning alone in the family, keep your assumptions inside sensible cutoff points. Don't want anything beyond his means.

8. Give time to family, nurture relationships

If you want success in family life as well as in other areas of life, you need to zero in on family.  It will be better for your future life if you spend time with your family than hanging out with friends or playing cards or pool at the club. Remember, staying home and spending time with family are two very different things. If you are at home, talk to each other without watching TV, exchange feelings-opinions-suggestions. Only give time to the family leaving the stress, trouble or tension in the office. If possible, take part in household chores with your wife.

9. Maintain spirituality about family

The foundation of a relationship formed only on the basis of biological or external attraction is very weak. Only when there is sympathy and religious bond in the relationship is that relationship happy and lasting.

What do I get if the biological entity thinks of us? And what can I give to teach the spiritual being to think? The general idea about marital life is what I get. But the basic truth is: the more we give, the more we receive according to the laws of natural redemption. 

In our married life we ​​will always wonder if we can just think: what can I give to my partner, the result of which will surprise us. We will then be able to look at the things our partner has never looked at before. 

We can further realize that the joy of being able to give something to a husband / wife is much greater than asking for it. No demand-contract-authority can create the kind of relationship that unconditional love creates. So just go through it without expecting anything in return.

10. Understand when to leave

No matter how hard you try, a few relationships may not last.  On the off chance that the spouse or wife is oppressive, has a character flaw that he or she is unwilling to rectify, if he or she is always abusive or unfaithful to you, then it is best to end the marital relationship.

In these cases, make a firm decision before the baby arrives without expecting him to change his behavior and get better. In fact there are some who never want to change. 

It is also important to remember that it is not a matter of thinking about what I can give in marriage and being weak or dependent. But if you have children, take the time before a legal divorce, think deeply.

Perhaps seeing all this, the bride or groom was chosen, in fact he is a selfish person or the social and cultural gap between the bride and groom is so large that it is impossible to adapt. It will be better for your future life if you spend time with your family than hanging out with friends or playing cards or pool at the club. We will then be able to look at the things our partner has never looked at before.


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