Tips for When You're Feeling Alone and Unloved

9 Tips for When You're Feeling Alone and Unloved

There are times of the year when being on our own, perhaps without our children, is tough. Christmas, long weekends, holidays and key social events can be hard if we're alone, everyone else seemingly enjoying special moments.

Here are 9 tips to help;

- Remind yourself that it's often just for one day. If you're alone plan ways to occupy yourself. How wonderful to know you can cook your favorite food, read your book or watch a film undisturbed, soak and enjoy a guilt-free leisurely bath. Then, when you're next with your loved ones you can organised extra-special times together.

- Revise your perspective. Use some time productively, catching up on jobs and chores, but also enjoy 'me time', doing the things you often struggle to fit in, like catching up with friends or shopping at your own pace. Relish time for yourself.

- Avoid guilt-tripping your children. They know what's going on. Yes, they may allow one parent to bribe them with holidays and expensive gifts - why wouldn't they! But they'll also appreciate the other parent's daily struggles, the things you suspect go largely unnoticed. Allow them to freely choose as to where they want to be.

- Maintain an involvement in all areas of life. Remember, you have your own identity too. Keep yourself interesting by being interested in the news, popular TV, what's happening locally. Then you can comfortably join conversations and build new social connections. Being alone isn't the same as being isolated or disconnected from daily life.

- Mixing and talking to new people is a great way to improve your confidence, inspire you to update your appearance and become more than 'just' an ex or a parent! Plus conversing is an important skill, quickly lost if we're out of practice and haven't socialized independently in a while. Practice your conversational skills regularly; at the supermarket, whilst waiting in a queue or travelling on the bus can all be good places to safely share a few moments relaxed conversation.

- Manage your expectations. When you dip a tentative toe into the dating scene don't initially invest everything into that new relationship. Enjoy meeting someone new, getting to know them and maybe flirting a little. If things don't work out that's fine. Be gentle with yourself.

- Make invitations. Join mailing lists, source free and special offers. Become the go-to guy for fun and also accept when others invite you along. Keep in touch with what's happening locally. Then you can join in, even if some events aren't quite to your taste.

- Provide reasonable options for those on a budget; a pamper evening, supper party where everyone contributes, or a games evening. Sport can be a great way to exercise and socialist at the same time.

- Make time for your own interests.Volunteer, join a class, a walking group. Maybe alternate child care with other parents and free-up some time for yourself.

Alone doesn't have to mean lonely. Remember, people in unhappy relationships will envy you your freedom and single life.

How I DON'T WANT TO BE SINGLE ANY MORE

I Don't Want to Be Single Any More

There are certain times of the year when being single can be especially difficult. Long bank holiday weekends, Valentine's Day, family holidays and major social events can often seem like cosy couple or family events, and being single can feel particularly lonely and unloved during those times.

The days and weeks following Christmas and the holidays are two of the busiest times of the year for divorce attorneys to compound or reduce the loneliness and feeling that we are missing out on something special. Sometimes we can sigh and realize that we really don't want to be alone anymore.

- Many people who do not want to be single choose to join online dating sites and this can be an effective way of finding someone with similar tastes and interests who meets our criteria. These sites often offer good practical advice when creating your introduction. For example, be careful how much personal information you disclose and limit the first meeting to an hour so that no one feels trapped indefinitely. If you turn it off, your next date can last as long as you want.

- stay safe. If something feels wrong, trust your gut and arrange a first meeting in a public place. A lot of people use these sites with success, but it's still a good idea to tell your friend where you're going and to call back an hour later to make sure you're okay.

- If a friend, colleague or someone in your circle offers to introduce you to someone they know, accept it. That person might be perfect for you so why not agree to meet them. Even if nothing comes of it, you met someone new and did something different. Being able to socialize and talk to new people is an important skill that can be lost quickly if we're out of practice and don't date for a while.

- Manage your expectations. It can be exciting when fireworks go off when we first meet someone, but don't invest all of your hopes and dreams into a new relationship right from the start. Coffee, lunch, or a pleasant hour or two out for a walk can be a great way to initially meet someone and make you a special new friend, even if they aren't lovers.

- invite. Stay up to date on what's happening locally and join the mailing list. You can then organize tours of shows, exhibitions and events. Join in when others do too and invite you to join them. Socialize regularly so you can add to your network of contacts while having a good social life and staying in touch with what's happening around you.

- Do what you love. Volunteering, joining a class, hanging out with a group or leading an activity you enjoy keeps you busy as well as enables you to meet and meet people who share your interests. Enjoy meeting, sharing activities, becoming friends and slowly you can develop a loving relationship with someone you already have a fun relationship with.

Don't work too hard. Relax and be yourself. And remember that being single isn't the end of the world! Many people in unhappy relationships undoubtedly envy your independence and ability to do whatever you want whenever you want.

Appreciate every phase of life and enjoy the opportunities that come your way. Single or partnership, each position has its pros and cons. Being comfortable with yourself and your life takes the pressure off of finding a new partner and often leads to a new relationship when you least expect it.

CONCLUSION

Join in when others do too and invite you to join them. Socialize regularly so you can add to your network of contacts while having a good social life and staying in touch with what's happening around you. - Do what you love. And remember that being single isn't the end of the world! Many people in unhappy relationships undoubtedly envy your independence and ability to do whatever you want whenever you want. Appreciate every phase of life and enjoy the opportunities that come your way.

OMG! The Best HOW TO FIND A HUSBAND: 3 SECRETS TO A LASTING RELATIONSHIP

How to Find a Husband: 3 Secrets to a Lasting Relationship

One of the pressing questions today is how to find a husband - the husband of your dreams.

However, the answer to this question does not only focus on finding the husband of your choice, but it ultimately focuses on how to maintain the relationship, whether the husband can be the man of your dreams.

Like Romeo and Juliet, you can tell they had a selfless - and self-sacrificing - kindred love as you can see at the end of their story when the two decide to die for each other.

With what's going on in the world these days, it's often hard to believe there's still "forever" in relationships. Love is probably one of the most overused words ever, and because of that, over the years people have gotten sick and tired of believing that it exists and will last forever.

Sadly, divorce rates have skyrocketed in recent years, which only makes more people feel discouraged from risking their hearts again.

However, there is still a lot to be said about love that probably not everyone has heard yet. If you take women as an example, you know deep down that they want a husband to spend the rest of their lives with, but at the same time fear that their heart might be broken.

One of the pressing questions today is how to find a husband - the husband of your dreams. If you ask a few women about this, you will surely be bombarded with different opinions and ideas. However, the answer to this question does not only focus on finding the husband of your choice, but it ultimately focuses on how to maintain the relationship, whether the husband can be the man of your dreams. ,

The truth is that there is no perfect husband, just like there is no perfect wife. However, there are secrets to how to make relationships thrive regardless of discrimination. If you are serious about this, here are some secrets for your knowledge:

Give unconditional love

Nothing can be sweeter than when both parties are willing to be selfless for each other. Nowadays, it is often difficult to determine whether there is a sense of selflessness in a relationship, but it is mostly clear that each person treats the other.

Like Romeo and Juliet, you can tell they had a selfless - and self-sacrificing - kindred love as you can see at the end of their story when the two decide to die for each other. But we are not saying that you should do it to prove selflessness, because that would be madness! It's really more about putting others before yourself.

It means putting aside your own personal comfort, pleasure and preferences and giving way to your own partner's preferences, comfort and pleasure. It may seem like a tedious task to do, but remember that it won't be a prosperous relationship if both parties are selfish, wouldn't you agree?

In fact, many success stories about love stem from this principle. If at least one of you tries it, see for yourself the wonderful results - the domino effect of selfless love.

Know each other's love language

Believe it or not, everyone has their own love language. This means that whenever someone creates or displays their love language, they feel love. For example, if you have a love language of affirmation, you may feel that whenever someone affirms something to you, you fall in love. The same is true for other love languages such as quality time, travel, gifts, respect and service.

There are different types of love languages and it pays off a lot if you know at least the top 5 love languages of your partner and then try to demonstrate them to them. Ultimately, this will lead to higher scores that will positively impact the relationship big time. Also, as a result, your partner will be motivated to do the same for you.

Be their perfect companion

Often, due to our selfish nature, we get caught up in thinking only about ourselves and what that person can do for us.

When we were younger, we used to list the qualities we want in our ideal husband, whereas in reality we should also list how we can be the ideal partner for him.

One of the reasons most relationships don't last is because they are self-centred. If you want to find an ideal husband, first start your search by becoming an ideal wife. If you haven't been able to prove this to yourself yet, you're probably not ready for a long-term relationship—or even marriage. And if you're not prepared going into that season, you can get hurt again.

This is because love is not a joke, but a platform for self-gratification. If you not only want to find a husband, but also want to avoid the risk of getting hurt again, take it seriously and finally be happy.

CONCLUSION

Believe it or not, everyone has their own love language. For example, if you have a love language of affirmation, you may feel that whenever someone affirms something to you, you fall in love. There are different types of love languages and it pays off a lot if you know at least the top 5 love languages of your partner and then try to demonstrate them to them. If you want to find an ideal husband, first start your search by becoming an ideal wife. This is because love is not a joke, but a platform for self-gratification. If you not only want to find a husband, but also want to avoid the risk of getting hurt again, take it seriously and finally be happy.

Beware The OVERCOMING THE STIGMA OF BEING SINGLE

Overcoming the stigma of being single

For a relationship to be full of meaning and reward, we must first understand that we are one half of the new relationship.

For a while after my divorce, I felt like I was broken and had nothing to offer anyone else. I avoided dating and put myself out there because I was so consumed with worry that I was confused about who I was now.

I organized my life and began to question myself about my life for the next 20 years. It proved to be an irreplaceable step in healing and getting my bearings before moving into a new relationship without dealing with some internal battles.

For a relationship to be full of meaning and reward, we must first understand that we are one half of the new relationship. If the focus is on getting someone else to complete us, we've already lost the battle. The secret is to make yourself whole and happy before trying something new. Getting out of there too quickly only leaves unresolved feelings and baggage that can be transferred to a new relationship.

The fear of being alone is more about not being in our unresolved feelings, and if not dealt with, it can add another relationship to the "loss" category.

What can we do to remove the stigma of being single?

1. Realize that the time invested in yourself is extremely valuable in making more informed decisions about where to go next.

2. Remember that couples often look happy, but they also have problems inside. The concept of being in a relationship is very different from actively being one. relax

3. Realize that bringing our best selves to a new situation will be valuable because it gives us the opportunity to create something real with another person.

4. No matter what happens in life, including breakups, we have to rely on ourselves when the dust settles. If we live mostly peaceful and happy lives, we will have that the actions of others make no difference to our existence.

5. When we don't need anyone else, everyday life seems sweet. Then when someone comes along, it's a partnership versus instant gratification and the potential loss of another relationship. Take as much time as necessary and track down your direction.

6. Take time to evaluate what you really want in every area of your life. Focus on you When you are happy, know your purpose for areas of your life and are living your true self, then the right person will appear for you.

7. Remember, you are not broke. No matter how society makes you feel or tells you who you should be, it's time to make your decision. Do not rush. Set aside some margin to track down what you actually want. Hasty decisions bring stress.

8. Start by taking small steps into activities you enjoy. Often people fill their schedules with activities to distract them from not being in a relationship. A better solution instead is to focus on activities that bring joy and meaning.

Letting go of the pressure of other people's opinions can do wonders. Sitting quietly with a good book and taking the time to consider what is right for you is never a waste of time. Calm time is an interest from here on out.

Taking the time to invest in yourself will pay huge dividends. The prospect of a strong future relationship with another person is much easier if we are happy with or without the other person's company. Other people should appreciate us for who we are, not who we need to be.

CONCLUSION

Take time to evaluate what you really want in every area of your life. Focus on you When you are happy, know your purpose for areas of your life and are living your true self, then the right person will appear for you. Sitting quietly with a good book and taking the time to consider what is right for you is never a waste of time.

Get Better TEN GREAT VACATION DATES FOR SINGLES

Ten great vacation dates for singles

Go to one place for appetizers, and another (romantic and intimate) place for dinner; Then have dessert and coffee (the night's drink), in a quiet spot with a beautiful view of the holiday lights or other holiday scenery.

Dating during the holiday season can be especially fun. To fully experience this, it may of course be necessary to reorganize some priorities and make time for yourself and your personal needs. Don't be tempted to put off your social life until after the New Year. Manage these work projects and family requirements in a way that allows you to experience some of the romantic and fun activities available at this time of year.

The following 10 dating ideas should help get you in the mood and may even inspire you to create a couple on your own.

1. Have a "progressive" dinner together. Go to one place for appetizers, and another (romantic and intimate) place for dinner; Then have dessert and coffee (the night's drink), in a quiet spot with a beautiful view of the holiday lights or other holiday scenery. Better yet, get in a limousine so you have all your time to focus on each other and don't have to worry about the whole drive.

2. Take a vacation tour of the historic homes in your area. Many regions of the country have these. It is often performed in the evening by candlelight. Then you can go for a walk and see the lights and decorations of the surrounding neighbourhood. Finish with a coffee in a quiet bistro.

3. Get dressed up and go to a concert or play. You can spend a lot or very little on this type of date, depending on where you go for entertainment. Nice little before or after meal to complete the evening.

4. Go get a hot chocolate with your date. So go check out the Christmas lights or displays available in your area. Many places have dazzling displays that light up at night.

5. Go skiing together. Find a nice place, not too crowded. This brings out the fun side and encourages lots of interaction with each other. Hold hands, show off, race - be kids again!

6. Attend church service together. This can be accomplished by going to a place of worship to which one (or both of you) belongs; Or you can go to a non-sectarian service. Evening service followed by dinner in an intimate restaurant can fill you with a sense of luxury and peace.

7. Have a small holiday gathering with a few other couples (or friends). Plan an activity like trimming a tree or lighting a candlestick. Be sure to offer festive food and drink. The reward will be to get a secret Santa gift exchange. It will be where each person gives a gift ($10.00 or less). Everyone chooses a number. The person with the first number starts with the first choice. Browse all numbers and open each gift in front of the group. The exchange is good and adds some extra fun. Lots of laughs and very interactive.

8. Choose your venue, stay at home, rent old holiday classics, light a fire and cook a simple but festive meal together. Play holiday music while you cook. So watch (a little, if you will) holiday favorites together. Or you can bake Christmas cookies or other Christmas goodies together while listening to music and enjoying the fire.

9. Work in a soup kitchen for a day (meal) together. Sharing the experience of giving is a great way to get to know someone and deepen a relationship. It's also a great way to get into the true holiday spirit. After cleaning, you can go for a walk followed by a good coffee or drink at night.

10. Go to the planetarium (if one is nearby). Enjoy the wonderful winter sky together. There is usually a guided "show" that you can experience while sitting close to you (maybe holding your hands?). Try to pick the towers together as you walk to your car. It's always good to have an intimate meal afterwards.

See if you can add some of your own ideas to this list. Then set aside several evenings over the next few weeks and awaken feelings of peace, joy, and goodwill to others.

Happy vacation!

Tony Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach, and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Tony has been cited in numerous local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star, Newsweek, Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health and Star (a regularly quoted body language expert) and Nirvana magazines. It was featured on abcnews.com; Discover.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com, and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating assistance and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, Missouri) and through her syndication column, Dear Dating Coach. Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over five hundred subscribers with her dating and relationship advice. Tony is a member of the International Federation of Coaches, the International Association of Coaches and the National Association of Social Workers.

As a recognized expert, Tony has been cited in numerous local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star, Newsweek, Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health and Star (a regularly quoted body language expert) and Nirvana magazines. Toni offers dating assistance and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Tony is a member of the International Federation of Coaches, the International Association of Coaches and the National Association of Social Workers.

The Biggest Lie In WHY IS IT GOOD TO BE ALONE

Why is it good to be alone

The sun rises and the sun sets.

You can always make more money, but you will never get back the time you wasted.

Have you noticed that there is a tidal wave to everything in life? The sun rises and the sun sets. The tide comes cut off. If you're not currently in a relationship, it just means the sun has temporarily set; The tide is currently out. Certain that the sun will rise again and the tide will return again, you will eventually be in another relationship. What you do now and then can determine his type and whether he wants to be with "the one".

Unfortunately, today's society often assumes that being alone equals loneliness. Nothing could be further from the truth. I spend a lot of time alone, but I rarely feel lonely. I am very protective of my time and weigh the pros and cons of everything I do. You can always make more money, but you will never get back the time you wasted. The clock is ticking and no one knows how much time they have left. This is what makes life exciting.

Instead of lamenting the fact that you currently don't have that special someone in your life, why not take some time to weed your life. I bet there is a closet begging to be organized. There may be things you don't need or use that can be sold or given away. Junk slowly builds up in your life and before you know it, you feel exhausted. You may have heard that in order to bring new energy into your life (partner, etc.), you need to get rid of old energy. You definitely won't have time for that when you meet him or her, because you'll be so in love that you probably won't want to do much other than be with or think about your new honey.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that everyone in a relationship is happy. We have a saying in my native Italy, "Maglio solo Che mal escort." It means: "It is better to be alone than to be in bad company." The divorce rate is over 50% and I have to assume that at least 50% of people in relationships are probably unhappy. When you're outside looking in, you think everyone is having a great time except you. Of course you know that's not true. The human mind is what it is, we represent what we don't have and we have a short term memory of all the bad times we had when we had someone in our lives. I remember one day on Valentine's Day when I was in a terrible relationship. I looked for a card for him and saw one that said, "To the man of my dreams." My dream man! He was a man of my nightmares. Every time I think about him, I regret the years I wasted with him and even though it ended over 5 years ago, I am still so thankful that he is out of my life.

Finally, remember that everyone is looking for the "right person", but few people focus on being the "right person". Use this time to be honest with yourself and figure out what you need to do or change to become an irresistible person, the kind of person everyone is looking for but hard to find. If you can't be honest with yourself, ask a close friend. Use this alone time to "be the best you can be" because before you know it, you'll be in another relationship, and if you've done your homework, you'll never be alone again!

Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist and keynote speaker, author of "Lucia's Lessons in Love" and host of The Art of Love radio show. You have appeared on Dr. Phil, CBS Early Show, 60 Minutes Australia, The Tyro Banks Show, E! Entertainment, KTLA Morning Show and many radio programs throughout the US and Canada

CONCLUSION

Finally, remember that everyone is looking for the right person but few people focus on being the right person. Use this time to be honest with yourself and figure out what you need to do or change to become an irresistible person, the kind of person everyone is looking for but hard to find. Use this alone time to be the best you can be because before you know it, you'll be in another relationship, and if you've done your homework, you'll never be alone again!

The Best Way To 9 MYTHS ABOUT BEING SINGLE

9 myths about being single

The American Association of Single People predicts that by 2010, 47.2% of adults will be single

More than 48% of American households are headed by unmarried members. The American Association of Single People predicts that by 2010, 47.2% of adults will be single. Being single doesn't mean being single, and being a holiday couple doesn't guarantee happiness either. Let's dispel some myths!

Myth 1: Singles feel lonely at Christmas.

Truth: No more than anyone else. This is a projection for people who fear "being alone on vacation", for fear of the unknown.

Myth 2: Singles must be invited to a party.

Fact: Contrary to popular belief, singles are very popular at Christmas and we generally get a lot of invitations. If you want us, we love to be invited, but we prefer it because you love us, not because you think we need them.

Myth 3: Singles don't know what to do on vacation.

Truth: On the contrary, we are used to actively planning our social lives, good at creating choices and used to making unilateral decisions. We are professionals!

Myth 4: Singles are available to do certain social tasks while celebrating the holidays.

Truth: We love to be loved guests. We don't like being mentors among the bulls - called to get people who don't go at each other's throats. If you don't love your family and friends, why us? "Can you come and help Aunt Edna?" Not an invitation.

Myth 5: Singles are available for some physical errands while celebrating the holidays.

Fact: This is not an invitation: "These are John's in-laws and I want to impress them. Can you come over and help with the appetizers?" As a best friend, yes; As the only working guest, definitely not.

Myth 6: Singles are incompetent, strangers.

Fact: On the contrary, most of us possess highly developed emotional intelligence skills; That's why we get 'Save Us' calls! strangers? That's about half of the adult world now. Take a look again!

Myth 7: If one person is not part of a couple, or doesn't spend Christmas with a couple or family, they will be miserable.

Truth: Come on. Is it awful to celebrate Christmas on a cruise to the Caribbean and come back relaxed, tanned and relaxed?

Myth 8: The only "happy" way to spend the holidays is if you are a couple or part of a family.

Fact: If so, half the articles online this time of year wouldn't be about how to handle annual holiday dinners with relatives, and the divorce rate in the US wouldn't be 50%.

Myth 9: Singles have no "where to go" for the holidays.

Truth: Where are we going? We have everywhere to go! I loved my years as Mrs. Santa. I am now on my way. I am thinking about Germany this year. There are so many places to go, I can't decide!!

In fact, I have so many great ideas for Christmas alone, if you're stuck, I'll give you a free training session.